In these unprecedented times of Covid-19, our foundations of feeling safe have been shaken to the core. For our health and safety, we have worn face masks to protect us from our outside environment. Ironically, many of us have been wearing masks to hide our true selves and emotions most of our lives.
Masking is a process in which an individual changes or “masks” their natural personality to conform to social pressures, abuse, and/or harassment. Wikipedia
We weren’t born with masks!
The masks we wear today have been created and layered up throughout our lifetime. It is a pattern we have unconsciously adopted early on by wanting to be the good girl or boy, loved and accepted.
Like a chameleon changing to adapt to the environment, we hide our own feelings, thoughts, and opinions in order to be accepted and obtain the approval of others. Sadly, we can’t see ourselves and the value we bring!
At the core of it all is fear. The foundation of fear is our basic needs of safety, survival and needing to belonging not being met. We avoid being a target by showing excess kindness, giving too much, over compensating, tolerating bad behaviour, dimming our light or swaying our truth – all so we can remain safe and secure within.
At our own detriment boundaries are weak and we base our self worth on others’ approval of us. We feel it is important for everyone to like us, we are afraid to disappoint, or not be what others expect from us and compare ourselves to others constantly.
It is not our job to get everyone to like us.
Disowning ourselves creates serious side effects to one’s own dignity!
We don’t live our truth and aren’t seen as our true authentic selves.
We lack self worth, self value and self esteem.
We don’t feel whole and complete within our lives.
We feel unworthy, undeserving and less than others.
Limiting beliefs such “I am not good enough”, “I am unlovable”, “I am going to be judged” ,”There’s not enough for me”, “I don’t deserve it, it is for other people to have it” , “The world is an unsafe place” can be fuelling underneath at a deeper level.
It is pretty confronting to remove the masks that guard us, to be seen and heard and accepted with our values and beliefs that are true for us.
Visibility is the bi- product of courage.
Here are my suggestions on how to remove your mask gently
- Identify why you act the way you do and look at where you are being triggered and giving your energy away
- Release childhood patterning through inner child work, time line therapy, counselling or energy healing
- Look at the beliefs fuelling this behaviour – are they really true? Are they my beliefs or beliefs I have taken on from another? Dive deep….
- Learn boundaries and start saying no
- Be comfortable with not everyone is going to like you and like the saying goes ‘what others think of me is none of my business’
- Have relationships with people that are aligned with you and your values
- Release the need for validation and find your self worth within
- Stop future tripping creating stories in your head before the event has happened
The more you reclaim all parts of yourself and your identity you will find your tribe regain your self worth and live life on your terms. It’s time to take charge of your own life.