Inner peace is vital for our mental, emotional and physical wellness. It takes perseverance, practice and personal awareness to train our emotions, thoughts and physical body to sustain inner peace no matter what is going on in our external or internal environment. What happens if inner peace has been created as by-product in the need of keeping oneself safe, even if this is factual or perceived in one’s beliefs? Welcome to the archetype of the peacemaker.
An archetype is a pattern of behaviour that is embedded in the “collective unconscious”, Carl Jung
When we have awareness of the archetypes that are playing out in our lives, we have the ability to influence how this negatively or positively impacts our life. ‘Archetypes play valuable roles that relate to our work, our relationships with individuals and society, as well as to our spirituality, finances, values, and our highest potential’ according to author Caroline Myss.
Beneath the peacemaker archetype often lies the ‘easy-going, no problem child’. They are often in families where they felt overlooked, overpowered and believing what they think and feel wasn’t important. At some point during their development, they learned to avoid conflict at all costs both internally and externally. The coping strategy in the home was to over-adapt to others by forgetting what they want, blending in with those around them rather than owning their individualism and self-worth.
The main intention was to keep everyone happy to maintain a calm peaceful environment something the ‘peacemaker’ requires for inner peace. In their external environment, they were often the child who was friends with or nurtured and/ or helped the kids who were left out or portrayed as ‘different’ by the other children.
What was your nature as a child? What role do you naturally fall into in the workplace, with family or at home?
Peacemakers believe they don’t matter enough to express themselves and the abandonment of the self starts to emerge as they start to merge with others and totally forget themselves in the process. There is great avoidance of being alone and to fill their lives with activities to avoid themselves. To avoid uncomfortable feelings, thoughts, situations and conflict the dissociation of self is birthed! This disconnection can have mental implications later in life such low self-worth and self-esteem, anxiety, anger, resentment and deep sadness.
This loss of identity creates turmoil with the ending of relationships as they take things so personally and their beliefs of being ’not good enough’ are anchored even more.
Motivated by harmony there is
- a scarification of the self and own priorities
- preoccupied fears of abandonment
- an avoidance of drawing attention to the self
- a repression of emotions
- an ignorance of what they don’t want to see
- an inability to make decisions without an excessive amount of advice or reassurance from others
- a dislike of change
- workaholism as they don’t like to burden others
- attention to needing order, structure, and control
- a playing small syndrome and engaging in routines that require little attention
- a compliance even if there is a disagreement in where you know the other person is wrong
- control dramas at play – playing the aloof
- a need to give too much to get approval and a given in all situations
The positive aspect of this archetype is the
- problem solver
- selflessness – there is a genuine act of service without the agenda of self at hand
- go with the flow personality
- peacemaker, the one to create peace in conflict and chaos
- adapter – easily adaptable to environments, people and situations
- helper – there to support others in need
How could you apply the question ‘what’s my agenda?’ in being the peacemaker? What could change and emerge with this newfound awareness?
Stay tuned for blog post #2 where we dive deeper into this topic and give you some suggestions on how to balance out the peacemaker so that you can become a more confident communicator and learn to value what you bring to the world.