Let’s Be Honest: Why You’re Not Prioritising Yourself (And How to Change It)

It’s easy to get caught in the rush of life. The constant demands from work, family, and social expectations all lead us to believe that we are only valuable if we are constantly doing. In fact, we’ve been taught that busyness equals success. The more we do, the more we are praised, the more we feel validated. But here’s the truth: this constant drive to push through is actually preventing you from caring for yourself in the most meaningful way.

It’s Not Just Your Schedule

At some level, we all have beliefs that make it hard to prioritise ourselves. These beliefs are often deeply ingrained and go unnoticed, quietly shaping our choices without us even realising it. We've been conditioned to think that if we stop and focus on our needs, we are being lazy, selfish or unworthy.

Some common beliefs include:

◎ “If I rest, I’m lazy.”

◎ “Others need me more than I need myself.”

◎ “Rest is a luxury, not a necessity.”

These beliefs often log unchallenged , quietly shaping our choices without even realising it. Leading to neglecting self-care because, deep down, we feel unworthy of rest or we fear that taking time for ourselves is selfish.

The Inner Conflict Holding You Back

So why is it so hard to stop, to slow down, and put ourselves first? The real answer might lie in the inner turmoil we experience when we try to do so.

◎ Fear of Losing Purpose: Many believe that if they stop, they’ll lose their sense of purpose.

◎ Fear of Weakness: Taking time for yourself might feel like an admission of weakness.

◎ Fear of Being Left Behind: The fear that resting means you won’t be keeping up with the world.

This inner conflict keeps us stuck in a cycle of exhaustion and neglect, convinced that rest is something that can always wait. But here’s the irony: it’s in the stillness that the answers to our struggles often lie.

The more you push yourself, the further you move away from that deeper part of knowing thy self. You become disconnected from your body’s needs and your emotional well-being, trapped in a cycle of action without reflection. And this only fuels the inner conflict, making you feel more disconnected, more drained, and more overwhelmed.

The real turmoil lies not in the external demands of life, but in the unconscious beliefs that keep you from caring for yourself.

◎What if your belief that you need to always be busy is actually the very thing preventing you from achieving true balance?

◎What if the constant doing is simply a distraction from deeper fears and emotions that are ready to be faced?

How Ignoring Your Inner Beliefs Affects You

The reality is when we ignore our need for rest, we create an emotional and physical backlog. The stress, anxiety, and fatigue don’t go away – they accumulate. Your body will eventually and you might still push through, telling yourself it's just a phase. 

Here’s what happens when we don’t listen:

◎ Exhaustion: Mental and physical exhaustion build up over time, often leading to burnout.

◎ Physical Symptoms: Headaches, body tension, or insomnia may signal that your body is trying to get your attention.

◎ Emotional Drain: Anxiety, irritability, and frustration are common when we push through without taking care of ourselves.

These are your body’s signals that something isn’t right. But when we keep ignoring them, the louder the signals get. 

Rest Is Not a Luxury – It’s a Necessity

Rest isn’t just about sleep. It’s about listening to the deeper parts of yourself that you’ve been avoiding. It's about acknowledging the uncomfortable emotions, the inner turmoil, and the fear that arises when you finally pause. These feelings - anxiety, guilt , unworthiness - they just don't disappear because we keep pushing. They need to be felt, acknowledged, and released.

Here’s the truth: when you make the time to rest, it gives you the ability to process the feelings and thoughts that get buried beneath the surface during busier times.

It’s the act of pausing that helps you reconnect with your inner self and brings you clarity and resilience to face challenges more effectively.

Here are a few steps to start shifting:

◎ Acknowledge Your Beliefs: Identify the beliefs that prevent you from resting. Is it the fear of being lazy? The belief that others need you more? Bring awareness to these thoughts.

◎ Reframe the Beliefs: Challenge the thought patterns that tell you you’re unworthy of rest. Instead, remind yourself that taking care of yourself allows you to be more effective and present in all areas of life.

◎ Commit to Rest: Make rest a non-negotiable part of your routine. Start small – it could be taking a 10-minute break during the day or setting boundaries around your work hours.

Your Body Is Speaking – Are You Listening?

The truth is, your body and mind are trying to tell you something. They’re speaking through your exhaustion, stress, and physical symptoms. And when you listen, you’ll realize that rest is not something you have to earn—it’s something you need to thrive.

When you allow yourself to rest, to truely stop and be, you make space for the thoughts that you've been suppressing. You become braver. You become more able to look at the parts of yourself and your life that you've been to afraid to face. That's where the true healing begins. 

If you're avoiding rest because you fear what will arise, it's time to ask yourself : What's so scary about slowing down? What might you discover about yourself when you allow yourself the space to simply be?