are you ready to remove your mask

In these unprecedented times of Covid-19, our foundations of feeling safe have been shaken to the core. For our health and safety, we have worn face masks to protect us from our outside environment. Ironically, many of us have been wearing masks to hide our true selves and emotions most of our lives.

Masking is a process in which an individual changes or “masks” their natural personality to conform to social pressures, abuse, and/or harassment. Wikipedia

We weren’t born with masks!

The masks we wear today have been created and layered up throughout our lifetime. It is a pattern we have unconsciously adopted early on by wanting to be the good girl or boy, loved and accepted.

Like a chameleon changing to adapt to the environment, we hide our own feelings, thoughts, and opinions in order to be accepted and obtain the approval of others. Sadly, we can’t see ourselves and the value we bring!

At the core of it all is fear. The foundation of fear is our basic needs of safety, survival and needing to belonging not being met. We avoid being a target by showing excess kindness, giving too much, over compensating, tolerating bad behaviour, dimming our light or swaying our truth – all so we can remain safe and secure within.

At our own detriment boundaries are weak and we base our self worth on others’ approval of us. We feel it is important for everyone to like us, we are afraid to disappoint, or not be what others expect from us and compare ourselves to others constantly.

It is not our job to get everyone to like us.

Disowning ourselves creates serious side effects to one’s own dignity!

We don’t live our truth and aren’t seen as our true authentic selves.

We lack self worth, self value and self esteem.

We don’t feel whole and complete within our lives.

We feel unworthy, undeserving and less than others.

Limiting beliefs such “I am not good enough”, “I am unlovable”, “I am going to be judged” ,”There’s not enough for me”, “I don’t deserve it, it is for other people to have it” , “The world is an unsafe place” can be fuelling underneath at a deeper level.

It is pretty confronting to remove the masks that guard us, to be seen and heard and accepted with our values and beliefs that are true for us.

Visibility is the bi- product of courage.

Here are my suggestions on how to remove your mask gently

  • Identify why you act the way you do and look at where you are being triggered and giving your energy away
  • Release childhood patterning through inner child work, time line therapy, counselling or energy healing
  • Look at the beliefs fuelling this behaviour – are they really true? Are they my beliefs or beliefs I have taken on from another? Dive deep….
  • Learn boundaries and start saying no
  • Be comfortable with not everyone is going to like you and like the saying goes ‘what others think of me is none of my business’
  • Have relationships with people that are aligned with you and your values
  • Release the need for validation and find your self worth within
  • Stop future tripping creating stories in your head before the event has happened

The more you reclaim all parts of yourself and your identity you will find your tribe regain your self worth and live life on your terms. It’s time to take charge of your own life.

The spleen is often described as the ‘source of life’, the transporter of energy to all other organs. It is considered as an essential organ in helping the body fight infections due to the spleen’s production of white blood cells and antibodies that help to eliminate foreign invaders and bacteria. 

Your spleen is located at the back of your ribcage, in the upper left part of your abdomen. The spleen is part of our lymphatic system and regulates many important systems in your body all at once such as:

  • Filtering, storing and cleaning the blood 
  • Supporting the lymphatic system 
  • Playing an important role in the body to fight infections 
  • Extracting nutrients from food and converting this into energy 

 A healthy and energised Spleen leads to the feeling of strength and general well-being.  

Physical signs your spleen needs support 

  • Stubborn weight problems 
  • There is an accumulation of excess mucous in your body 
  • You have bloating and hold water retention 
  • Your body feels tired, heavy and your limbs ache 
  • You have poor muscle tone 
  • You are suffering from poor co-ordination 
  • You are experiencing poor memory recall 
  • You have a weak metabolism 
  • You are experiencing low energy levels and fatigue 
  • You are experiencing urinary problems 
  • You are experiencing knee/ thigh pain 
  • You feel full without eating 

Emotional signs your spleen needs support 

  • You are a worrier 
  • You are trapped in a cycle of obsessive and/ or negative thoughts 
  • You feel ungrounded
  • You have feelings of  instability and insecurity 
  • Your sleep is restless
  • You could be experiencing needy or selfish behaviour 
  • You are feeling vague or confused 
  • Your feelings are scattered 
  • You feel over protective of others 
  • There are feelings of loneliness 
  • You find yourself stating “I need”… 

Inna Segal describes the emotions of the spleen in her book The Secret Language of the Body as 

“Feeling helpless, disconnected from feminine energy, fearful, frozen , angry frustrated. Overly sensitive and easily swayed. Constantly trying to find fault in others and to control or change them. Not wanting to face your own issues and participate in life fully. Continually worrying and stressing about others.”

Ways to support your spleen 

  • Avoid ice in your drinks and eating cold foods such as ice cream 
  • Wear the colour yellow
  • Foods to strengthen the spleen are sweet potatoes, root vegetables, apples, foods rich in chlorophyll 
  • Avoid or eat in moderation raw foods, dairy, fatty foods, sugar, wheat, beer and coffee 
  • Eat smaller more frequent meals 
  • The herbs Astragalus, Ginseng and Licorice are beneficial to the spleen 
  • Skin brushing: https://www.nourishedlife.com.au/article/2338661/benefits-of-dry-body-brushing.html
  • Acupressure points to press:  https://www.pinterest.com.au/christiancady/spleen-meridian/
  • Essential Oils: Joy and Acceptance from Young Living Oils 
  • Flower Essences: Bach – Heather, Red Chestnut, White Chestnut 
  • Flower Essences: Australian Bush Flowers: Dog Rose, Boronia, Pink Mulla Mulla 
  • Crystals: Carnelian, Jade, Jasper and Bloodstone 
  • A lymphatic drainage massage is beneficial for the spleen 

If you identify with any of the symptoms in this article and are looking for personalised ways to support your spleen and overall health, you can get in contact with me here or book an online appointment.

vagus nerve

The Vagus Nerve – its role and treatment

  • The Vagus Nerve (VN) starts at the brain and is the longest cranial nerve in our body. 
  • It conveys sensory information about the state of the body’s organs to the Central Nervous System
  • The VN can be overactive or underactive
  • It is well documented that VN stimulation can assist in a multitude of illnesses, such as treatment-resistant depression and certain forms of epilepsy

The VN’s physical role in the body includes:

  • Keeping the larynx open for breathing, feeding the lungs and diaphragm
  • Slowing and regulating the heartbeat
  • Stimulating the flow of saliva, peristalsis and secretion, and releasing bile
  • Reducing inflammation
  • Sending messages to the brain to produce and release Oxytocin
  • Reducing seizures and the treatment of certain types of epilepsy
  • Increasing calm and reducing stress levels
  • Reducing blood pressure


Energetically, the VN:

  • Balances the nervous system, bringing coherence between the sympathetic, (fight/flight), and the parasympathetic, (relaxation) branches of the nervous system, giving more emphasis on the relaxation side
  • Brings coherence to the heart and brain, supporting higher states of awareness
  • Is responsible for our compassion, telepathy and empathy, and our intuition or “gut knowing”
  • Governs our interface with others and the world (how we connect to each other).

Natural ways to help the Vagus Nerve

Anything you can do to enhance relaxation and compassion is going to help, as well as:

  • Deep belly breathing 
  • Meditation
  • Exercise 
  • Reflexology 
  • Playing an instrument (the deep breathing and long exhales stimulate the VN)
  • Listening to music and relaxing (VN is part of the parasympathetic/relaxing side of nervous system).
  • Practicing yoga stimulates the VN without even focusing on it directly

I think I can safely say we have all experienced some sort of toxicity in a relationship , whether it be with a family member, ex-boyfriend, friends or a work colleague. 

While many are born into a loving, caring, supporting family, from my many years in the clinic, this is far from the truth for many clients. This can be extremely painful when we have experienced first hand the exile, trauma or abandonment from our family members. 

Our childhoods and relationships with our family hold the deepest pain and suffering, feelings of abandonment  not being lovable,  good enough, our misaligned identity of ourselves or feeling like a misfit are embodied and unconsciously expressed throughout other areas of our lives going forward. 

If you are carrying pain from your family, then it is really important foremost you work on releasing your trauma, work through forgiveness and release any out dated beliefs and behaviours so you don’t attract the wrong people and relationships into your life going forward.

Conflicts in relationships arise when there is an imbalance between your expectations and the actually reality that is occurring. To experience balanced relationships, we need to stop putting expectations on how we believe the relationship and person should be. This means accepting the person and the relationship for what it is, not what we think it should be. 

Often we are so caught up in our own ‘expectation’ that we don’t take the time to see through the lens of the other person. Sad but true, the pivotal turning point ‘people can only give you what they can give you,’ they are also projecting onto you their view points, behaviours, beliefs from their own up bringing, traumas and life situations. Yes a hard reality to face, however this is an imperative factor in healing the cycle of toxic relationships. 

Have The Courage to Look

We often unconsciously shape and reflect what we believe to be true in our view of people and the relationship. We filter out anything that suggests otherwise. Often you have spent years trying to hide and run away from the reality, evidence and truth of the situation.

Deconstruct the person or relationship dynamics you have an issue with, what is at the core level?

  • Think about what is your agenda? What do you really want from this relationship?
  • Be willing to drop the expectations and projections, don’t make it about you, drop the drama
  • Drop the need for validation and acceptance you are yearning for, make peace with this

Honouring Yourself

It is time to deconstruct any negative behaviours and beliefs through self enquiry. You may want to sit and reflect on the below or journal what comes up.

  • What relationships have I been tolerating? 
  • With whom have I been wearing masks and avoiding my true self to be seen?
  • How is this a mirror about how I feel about myself ?
  • What am I avoiding seeing? 
  • What am I refusing to see about this situation now? 
  • Whats the truth and whats the distortion around this relationship?” 

You can learn more and clear past toxic relationships to create harmony in your relationships in our up coming courses. Sign up on our home page to receive first discounted access for VIPs only.

People often become frustrated because they are wanting something to change, to create a new reality and its not happening. You think you’re doing everything right, but your remaining stuck. Let’s look at how you can gain clarity and momentum to move forward.

Stop Resisting
The more we resist the ebbs and flows of change the harder it gets! Stop holding yourself back. Sit with what am I resisting? Is it change? Being successful? Being seen?

Awareness
You have a deep inner knowing with what to do, and you have an inner guidance system to make it happen. To create your reality you need to have awareness and decide what you want. The more awareness we have, the less power our fear and ego mind can have on us. 

Facing the Fears
If you create out of fear, you don’t believe in your own abilities, you are reacting from the fear. If you are creating out of joy you are moving forward. Doing what your heart tells you will bring you joy. Questions to ask yourself – If I wasn’t afraid what would I be doing? What’s my state of readiness for this change? Am I ready to let go? Be ready to face your fears head on.

Self Reflection
Stillness is required for deeper self reflection. Questions to ask yourself – What do I really want?  What will this change bring to my life? What lights me up? Where am I compromising myself? What would my life be like if joy was my priority?

Do the internal work
You are your greatest teacher, you need to become clear and in alignment. Changing your energy will transform the undesirable situation and being in alignment the possibilities are limitless. Look at your limiting beliefs, patterning, fears , what do you need to heal to allow you to move forward?

Priorities and Non-Negotiable
Write down on a piece of paper two columns, my priories and my non negotiables. Now write down under priorities all the things that are important to you and under priorities list all the things you won’t compromise on. This will help you become clearer and put boundaries into place. 

Intention
Work with the intention – I choose and intend to come into divine alignment with (stating the change you are wanting) thank you it’s done it’s done it’s done. And the new belief – I am open to change. If you have however low expectations and high intentions you’re going to get the results of your low expectations. Energy will go to the most powerful thought you have. Questions to look at -What expectations do I have about myself? Look what could preventing your intention from being fulfilled. 

Take Action
When you know what you want it drives you to take action, it is then you can put boundaries in place. Work with the idea how many possibilities are there to help make this change? Where am I going to put my energy into? Take action and feel the fear afterwards!

See that you already have it
Focus on the outcome and see that you already have it. When you also focus on the life experience you want to have, this allows you to receive it. Really sit with the feeling of having your desires here and now. Wayne Dwyer quotes – The answer to how is yes, you may never know exactly how you’re going to accomplish, but by saying yes to life and all that calls you, the how will take care of itself.

Support
Allow others to support you, take all the burden off your shoulders.

Let It Go
Don’t judge your choices at that moment that was the best choice that was meant for you

season of spring flowers

The months of Spring are about renewal, new beginnings, growth and rapid expansion. It is a time where we are drawn to spring clean, cleanse the home, start exercising and think about a lighter healthier diet. 

In Chinese Medicine the season Spring corresponds to the element wood and the related organs are the liver and gallbladder. The liver sharpens our creative visions, turns our aspirations into focus and the gallbladder goes about making the decisions and taking the steps to bring it into fruition. 

The wood element governs the emotional and intuitive body. When nourished we can be empowered and strong however when out of alignment you may feel as if you’re not in control of your emotions, or become very stressed. 

When the wood element is in balance we are clear in our decision making, we are flexible and we can deal with challenges easily. When the wood element is out of balance we start to experience frustration, irritability and anger. Liver stagnation can also lead to depression.

Spring is the time to:

  • Rise early and rest at night
  • Avoid drinking a lot of alcohol to help the liver
  • Drink lemon in water to help in detoxing the liver
  • Eat a light diet, it is recommended to minimise coffee and sugar 
  • Move, it’s time to wake up the body. This is the time to join an exercise or yoga class
  • Make changes to your daily routine 
  • Share your unique gifts with the world
  • Set new intentions, visions, projects and goals for the months ahead 
  • Take action – what do you want to do with your future & how can you make it happen?
  • Take risks and try something new
  • Declutter physically and emotionally – let go of anything that is weighing you down
  • Work through your emotions of anger, resentment and frustration
  • Embrace compassion, patience, acceptance, kindness and forgiveness 

Take a moment and set your intentions for Spring. What small change can you make in your life to bring yourself in alignment with the season on change? 

lemons into lemonade

Life is the way you make it.

You’ve heard the phrase “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade”, but what does it exactly mean?

Lemons are sour, representing life’s challenges. In contrast lemonade is sweet and represents changing life challenges into something positive. When there are problems at hand, rather than focusing on the problem, one can find a solution. ⠀

Yes often easier said than done! ⠀

It’s easier to find solutions when you have control of your mind! When you are caught up in the past and in negativity, you can’t see a clear solution ahead. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Let go of thinking life is a struggle. 

I am a firm believer we have all the answers within to the questions we seek. You need to take some time out to dive deep and be willing to hear the answers you seek. 

Below is a list of reflection questions to help you gain clarity so you can find solutions to your problems. 

What do I need to see that I am avoiding? 

What needs to change? 

What do I need to change within myself? 

What are the possibilities here? 

What are the facts? What really happened? 

How do I move through this? 

Where do I want to be?

What is the practical action I need to take? Or could have taken? 

What lesson from this experience could I take with me into the future?

Through a process of reflection we are able to gain clarity. However sometimes we are so deep inside our problems that it takes more than just a journey inwards to help us find answers. We may need some guidance or help to make sense of our reflection.

Guidance can come in many different forms. It may be a spiritual mentor, use of natural essences, alternative therapies or healings. Whatever your preference or beliefs an extra hand can often help turn those lemons into lemonade.

 

Love is the miracle cure

loving ourselves works miracles in our lives

Louise Hay

 

The relationship we have with ourselves is paramount. It is the foundation for living a healthy, joyful life.

WHEN YOU HAVE UNCONDITIONAL SELF LOVE:

  • You accept yourself without judgment
  • You have true lasting peace, happiness and fulfilment in your life
  • You have a deep sense of trust and understanding of your life
  • Loneliness and isolation will disappear
  • You don’t mistreat yourself with food
  • Suddenly you will be surrounded by love, you will attract your hearts desires
  • You feel comfortable in your own skin
  • You can handle any situation with respect and dignity
  • You will radiate confidence
  • Your life just works
  • You stop searching outside of yourself

It is not the way we look outside that matters, it’s about how we feel inside. Beauty comes from within. You are so much more than a reflection of what you see in the mirror!

REFLECTING ON YOUR SELF LOVE

Through identifying our negative self beliefs, and investigating their roots, we can then begin to understand why we think the way we do and then implement actions to change those negative self beliefs.

If you believe that you are not lovable or not worthy of self love, take a moment to consider where these beliefs have come from.

Think about:

  • Where does your lovability come from?
  • How does your physical body affect your ability to love and give love?
  • Is it difficult for me to spend time with myself? If so, what do I fear?

 

KNOW THAT ALL THE

HAPPINESS, SUCCESS, HEALTH AND ABUNDANCE

THAT YOU EXPERIENCE IN LIFE

COMES DIRECTLY FROM YOUR

WILLINGNESS TO LOVE AND BE LOVED

Robert Holden

 

ACTIVATING UNCONDITIONAL SELF LOVE

Now you have identified the root of your inability to allow yourself unconditional self love, try these suggestions to help you shift your perspective and re-write your self love story:

  1. When you wake up in the morning, give yourself three loving compliments
  2. Before you go to sleep think of three good things that you did today
  3. Accept all parts of yourself today – accept the thoughts you are having, the feelings you are feeling, and all the behaviours and actions you are playing out
  4. Keep your vibration high, when your vibration is high you will feel good about yourself and your life. What’s happening on the inner is happening in your external life.
  5. Watch your thoughts, replace negative thoughts with positive ones
  6. Each day in the mirror say to yourself “I love and accept myself exactly as I am”
  7. Journal daily to become aware of your thoughts, beliefs and behaviours. When you have the awareness, you can start making changes
  8. Learn to have compassion and forgiveness for yourself
  9. Work with the mantra “I love my body’” and act as if it is a reality
  10. See yourself as your perfect weight now!
  11. It’s a problem when we give in to the world of outside opinions and appearances, it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks. It’s your opinion of you is what matters. Accept yourself now as you are

T H E  S E A S O N  O F  W I N T E R – A  T I M E  F O R  R E S T  A N D  R E S T O R A T I O N

Element: Water – the most yin of all the five elements

Yin Organ: Kidneys

Yang Partner Organ: Bladder

Emotion: Fear

Tissues: Bones

Sensory Organ: Ears

 

T H E  K I D N E Y S

Our kidneys are in Chinese Medicine the most important organ of your body. The kidneys are the source of all energy or “Qi” in the body.

Physical imbalances in the body can show up as

  • Premature ageing and greying of hair
  • Urination problems such as cystitis
  • Prostrate disorders in males
  • Kidney stones
  • Dark bags under the eyes
  • Craving salty foods
  • Fluid retention, bloating and oedema
  • Lymphatic congestion
  • Lower back pain
  • Weak and brittle bones
  • Aversion to cold
  • Lethargy
  • Poor short term memory
  • Problems with knees

Emotional imbalances can portray as

  • Fear
  • Anxiety and panic attacks
  • Intense phobias
  • Lack of perception
  • Lack of will power
  • Being timid and weak
  • Learning difficulties
  • Feeling overwhelmed
  • Apprehension
  • Fear of failure
  • Depression
  • Complaining
  • Suspicious and paranoid behaviour
  • Workaholism

Inna Segal describes kidney imbalances as “Living with guilt, resentment, blame, ancient sadness. Holding onto destructive beliefs and memories from the past. Suffering, with a limited short term memory, because all your attention is stuck in the past. Experiencing tiredness, depression, deadness, paralysing fear. Focusing on the negative aspects of life, unable to trust, difficulty in dealing with challenges situations. Crumbling under pressure. Giving up.

 

S U P P O R T I N G  T H E  W A T E R  E L E M E N T

  • Introduce warm foods and drinks into your diet as the ‘cold’ aggravates the water element
  • Avoid too much salt in your diet
  • Ensure you are drinking enough water – preferably warm
  • Watch for prolonged stress levels
  • Take time to replenish your resources, to take time to slow down
  • Go inward, self reflect and have quiet time. Writing, meditation, reading and other soul nurturing activities are required at this time. Winter is NOT the time for strenuous exercise!
  • Go to bed earlier and get up later
  • Nourish your body with warm foods and drink
  • Essential Oils: Cedarwood, Juniper, Fennel and Thyme just to name a few
  • Flower Essences: Bach Flowers: Aspen, Mimulis, Olive, Rock Rose and Star of Bethlehem
  • Flower Essences: Bush Flowers: Water and Gaia essence
  • Affirmations: “Kidneys: I seek only good everywhere. Right action is taking place. I am fulfilled. Bladder: I release the old and welcome the new.” Louise L. Hay, You Can Heal Your Life

 

I wrote the enclosed article for my clients in my program A Weight Off My Mind. I am sharing it with you as it seems to be a place so many of my clients find themselves in.

 

The Void” is referred to a time when we are in a period of change. This is a time where you have started to be aware of wanting a life of purpose and meaning, you are questioning why you are here and what are you meant to be doing with your life. This is a time to let go of the outcome, trusting it will turn out the best way possible. I hope you enjoy the blog post below.

 

T H E  V O I D 

The Void is a state of consciousness you can go into to expand beyond your current limits, let go of old things, and move to your next level of expansion. 


The Void occurs when you are letting go of an aspect of your personality self that no longer fits who you are becoming. In this state you can receive insights and do much inner work. It can last for hours, days or even months. You will experience the void throughout your spirituality journey. –
Sanaya Roman

Perhaps at this time you feel like your whole life has been tipped upside down. You’ve known change was coming, however this new awareness of a great reality at times has created more confusion and lack of clarity than before.

Some days you have enthusiastic motivation where you surge through full of energy, other days you feel tired, frustrated and totally over it. Somewhere along this way you forgot life was meant to be fun.

THE VOID IS A STATE OF TRANSITION AND CHANGE

When going through any type of transformation, what needs to be cleared and released will come to the surface. What was hidden is now being exposed.

You will start asking yourself “who am I?”, “what would I love to do with my life?”, “what’s my purpose?”. You question where you fit in. This is a period of time of not knowing.

Things may get messy for a while as you start expanding beyond your old pattering but eventually things balance out and change starts to happen within and around you.

C H A N G E S  T H A T  M A Y  B E  O C C U R R I N G

  • You realise there is so much more to know about yourself
  • Strong foundations in your life are starting to fall away and your life is changing at a rapid pace
  • You feel like something is happening however you can’t see it yet
  • You feel less social than normal
  • You feel lonely even when surrounded by others
  • You crave time alone
  • Your physical body is needing more sleep or in contrast you feel more energised
  • You are in a state of confusion about your life
  • Your moods are all over the place
  • There is change in your thinking and you have noticed you are thinking in new ways. Somedays you can’t think clearly at all or you are noticing you have become forgetful
  • Making decisions and having clarity has become harder
  • You experience great clarity and receive new insights
  • You start re-examining your life, relationships, beliefs and values

M O V I N G  T H R O U G H  T H E  V O I D

How can you move through this period with more ease and grace?

  • Allow your intuition to be your navigator. When you listen to your inner wisdom, follow your heart and speak your truth, you will be lead to the opportunities and life that is in alignment for you.
  • This is a time to enter into a state of stillness and silence. Silencing the mind is essential! Spend a few minutes daily in silence
  • Let go of all your old preconceived ideas of how your life should be and allow yourself to open up to new choices
  • Make your inner work a priority
  • Be kind and compassionate to yourself
  • Take action when new opportunities start appearing in your life
  • Surrender to the new probable futures
  • Learn to embrace change and uncertainty
  • Visualise everything you want
  • Let go of what other people have told you that you should or shouldn’t be. Have a strong foundation of finding out who you are and letting go of who you think you are.

This is an exciting time of change and transformation!