There’s no doubt that being a responsible citizen in society is an honourable trait to have. However, when we start to move into the burden of responsibility for another this often becomes detriment to our own wellbeing.
During our youth being responsible came with a sense of honour, of being worthy, reliable, strong in character. When we take over the sense of being responsible, we are in fact losing our sense of our own self, losing our own power to a force outside of ourselves.
Where do we draw the line between helping another and where we diminish our own power?
‘If you feel upset by the mess someone has got themselves into, it is your stuff. It is an indication that you need to look at yourself rather than rescue someone else’. Diana Cooper
If we feel deep inside that we must shoulder the responsibility for our family or even the world, we become the enabler to bad behaviour, imbalanced giving and receiving in relationships, demanding relationships to being undervalued just to name a few! We cannot feel responsible for everyone’s happiness. Only they chose it, you cannot choose it for them.
True kindness is when you can have compassion for someone else’s suffering, even if you know their thoughts are creating it. It’s when you take responsibility for yourself, but not for them, and when you allow them to think and feel however they want, without making it mean anything about yourself. Kara Loewentheil
It is NOT up to us to decide what is for the other person’s highest good. Look within at the part of you that feels responsible for another’s moods, life choices, happiness or success.
When you start to feel burdened by a responsibility or a diminishment of power, here are some ways that you can release the sense of responsibility:
- See things from a higher perspective by viewing another’s life through their eyes — this is very healing for you and them
- When you observe another’s choices see how it fits in their life
- Love and accept people for who they are and not who you think they should be
- Constantly check in with yourself ‘Am I feeling adequate’? ‘Am I trying to give more than the other person is capable of receiving?’
- Question your intentions
- Work with the belief ‘My true value comes from within’ and/or ‘I am perfect as I am’
- Know when to be selfless and pay attention to your own needs
- Challenge yourself to let go
- Become aware of when someone’s presence leaves you drained – even in a subtle way – we can lose our energy through our empathetic nature
The greatest gift comes when you receive someone for who they are and allow them to be their own creator of their reality.