Having harmony and peace in one’s life is something we all inspire to have in our lives. What happens when this peace comes at a cost?  

A life put on hold, not fully lived to all its capacity, living a life in another’s shoes, walking through the haze of life? ALL  in the name of peace!

The voice of uncertainty keeps the Peacemaker in the demeaning jobs or relationships because they are driven by their own inner critic.  

It’s crucial to know thyself to start to create change for the  ‘Peacemakers’ as they have an instant autopilot response for all of their interactions. The self-loathing, self-sabotage, judgements, fears and insecurities they can place on themselves is often so ingrained and such an addictive response of behaviour.  

Create a healthy balance of the Peacemaker within you  

Often people only see us as they perceive us to be. We can’t change other’s perceptions, but we can change how we react.  

Sense of self

 Our body is a walking radar. It’s constantly reading data and giving you messages.  Having an awareness of your body, thoughts and emotions allows the awareness of the effects other people have on you.  

To find out who you are, you need to find the stillness within your mind.  Time alone, reflective time to listen to your thoughts and to be in constant reflection of yourself.

You could self-reflect on:  

  •  What environments/ people/ places do I slip into the peacekeeper role?
  •  Where is this coming from?  is it really mine? am I mirroring another family member to keep peace?
  •  When was my first memory of when I starting playing out the ‘peacemaker?”  
  •  Where am I not allowing myself to be acknowledged/ seen/ heard?  
  •  What is required to start shifting this?  

A powerful tool to gain a sense of self is writing.  Writing will help you to explore your thoughts, beliefs emotions and find clarity so you can become more receptive to a deeper aspect of yourself.

Mental and emotional health  

You could self-reflect on:  

  •  What are the feelings and emotions linked to this?
  •  What are the benefits of playing out this behaviour?
  •  Can I come to the understanding I no longer need other’s approval or acknowledgement?
  •  If I released the need for control, am I open to the possibility things could turn out better than I could have imagined?
  •  What is the pay-off for staying safe, unseen, and small?
  •  Look at the energy dynamics of you and those around you
  •  Become your own best friend or show up for yourself  

Your self-esteem relies on having self-value and acceptance.  One of the quickest ways is to treat yourself how you would treat your best friend. Pay attention to your own needs.  

Changing things up

You could self-reflect on:  

  •  Start spending time with people where there is a balance of giving and receiving, someone who makes you feel safe  
  •  Operate from the objective observer  
  •  Practice non-attachment. Live life in flow not from control  
  •  Perceive your past through the eyes of your child self, you didn’t have the wisdom, resources and tools you have now  

External validation  

You could self-reflect on:  

  •  Everywhere you believed you needed external validation  
  •  Wanting to be accepted from others  
Justine Whitfield is a mindset coach, energetic healer, and reflexologist who helps people return to wellness in the body, mind and spirit so they can live a fulfilling and joyful life.

Comments

0

Date Posted

September 20, 2021